frozen peas
they are not gross.
there isn't  anything nasty about them.
no stems
no pits
no gross skin to peel off
they taste so good with pepper
and you can swallow them whole

i got to go home to rhode island for the first time in 5 years.. boy and i tired now. my parents now live in massachusetts about 45 minutes from where they used to live. and most everyone else lives in the same town. so were in mass,r.i., conn and new york. busy busy busy.. i need another vacation after all that driving.will tell more very soon.

anyone who finds the diamond to my engagement ring..i'll say thanks and give you some money.

i can't compete with others for attention anymore i like it here. this is mine alllll mine.. and about me so. LOOK AT MEEEEE

what the hell is wrong with me??????

and i hate it.. i used to be skinny and i thought i was fat. gee how many of us are out there. i hate restaurants and i hate fast food commercials. why do they taunt me!!????? curses
salads are not my favorite by far.. and if i have one i like some crunchies on it. it's just makes it taste so good. hmmm sunflower seeds, croutons,raisins,something somthing mmmmm
but it seems this diet thing takes a bit of my concentration. a little distraction.. it's nice i guess. i look at my weeks menu.. and look forward to friday's meal. interesting. yes. a cow could graize in my fridge right now.
hey, but i lost 3.2 lbs and thats alright too. i only have 70 more to go. how many weeks is that??

so school is out. and i got the kids signed up for swimming and i might try this thing they call exercise while they are in class. i think i can burn calories when i am weeding. and i do have to mow the lawn. shoot it was warm today.nice. very nice.
i don't even have much faith in myself. but i do really want to try. sort of like an experiment.

american idol is done
i heard the best joke on conan.
he didn;t know who won becasue they tape at the same time. so he said congratulations hillbilly
so funny
i liked both of them. but they do fall into the country genre.
so carrie won...no blood came down from the rafters . and that is good

i have cried, i have struggled the dog has ate everything i managed my daughter was sad she didnt't like her new school she thought she hadnt made any friends i had her party right after daddy left and invited the girls remember the crop circles but she still wanted out of this school and back to the other so i called and i called and made it work i got her on a list and i begged the principal to take my girl back she knew she was a good student so she approved it thank heavens i switched the boys schools i hate the schools i got phone calls everyday i was picking my son up from school i did doctors appointments and had to start giving my son drugs i hate them still i don't want to give them i give in i give them now i fight for my son i get him diagnosed the teachers still dont understand i think i am going to move him to a new school and i change my mind again i survive a few holidays i hate them as it is because all of my family is far away and i wish i could be with them i shop for christmas i amaze myself i did a good job but not as good as my husband and i think it went well lets ask the kids so then it's the new year no big deal not too thrilled midnight done lets make it throught the year i trudge on a little bit more january is gone and my husband turns 35. then i have a scare my mother and stepmother and my new nephew are all in the hospital my mother was fine she thought it was a heart attack my new nephew aspirated and he fin my step mother has just survived lung cancer and they took half a lung she is stressed and over stressed they just sold the house it was too big for her to care for and my father with alzheimers and she needs more rest my sister i love her she's younger than i she met a captain in the navy and loved him for a minute she moved to florida and then high tailed and left it but out of it all she got pregnant with a boy she has a daughter now who is almost a teen they are all far away i wish i was close but some who are closer dont even care as much as i do and i cant even be there i have one sister now who with all the scare and the new year has decided to try hard and be there for them so i did it again i made it through that then to think i finally get a helper for my son in his classroom she is there for him and helps him and no more phone calls but the nurse and his teacher of my kindergartener say i need to get little brother looked at too we think he has the same thing its not a disease its a syndrome and i'll get him to the doctor as soon as they see me so back to big brother who has a helper and i can begin to breathe now i have forgot the house what a mess it is and be the yard looks rugged and the shrubs are 12 feet tall my roses are ready for a good pruning and i need a mower to mow i did i bought one and the lawn looks a charm it took me a month but i have my front yard back and i have been cleaning and trying to keep things in order the house is covered in papers and mail and reports and doctors notes and stuff and more stuff and drawings and some joy out of this all then the door handle breaks off the van and my daughter is embarrased to be in it oh well i cant fix it not going to worry bout it either not at all too much other stuff going on my older son started occupational therapy outside of the school so he can get an hours worth of therapy and then it was suggested i take him to vision therapy i made the call and he's in that too. my almost teen we get her signed up for softball and she's nervous at first but she's a natural and a great hit thank goodness something to boost her confidence it has been down for a bit she slams the balls and runs around the field the only thing she doesn't do is say hi to her team mates now that i have everything starting to be settled i can relax um daddy comes home in 3 weeks i have to get clothes and make the house nice i start to shop and get cute things i am shopping and shopping and return more than i keep i am counting the days and then a road block i'm in the office of the vision therapist it is the principal at 4 pm saying our para/helper is leaving tomorrow she knew she was going to go back to school but not this soon we had her a month and it took almost the year to get one and now summer is almost here what the hell now what i thought i was going to glide through to the end of this year but no screwed again oh well grin and bare it if they find someone new that thats just fine 1 more week til daddy comes home my boy made it through the week just fine even broke some reading records and he is so proud i know it's from the vision therapy yay it works so this week on monday occupational therapy on tuesday we shop and wednesday chelseas appointment and thursday my 5 yr old is supposed to stay after school the teacher brings him to the lunchroom and he waits for a minute and then the speech therapist comes and picks him up but thats not how it happened and he was put on the bus i knew they messed up but i didnt call i had things to do and this plan isnt working out the special ed teacher called me in 20 minutes do you have your son yes i do thank goodness and i continue to shop nobody told me they had changed around their schedule and one of the teachers was out for 2 weeks and my son would have been in the recess if he was there but he wasnt so then later i bring my 7 yr old to his vision therapy and then survivor that night its the only show we all watch together on the couch and friday half day for the almost teen and still no calls from the school wow thats good and then softball practice at 6 until730 and come home after 2 parfaits a chicken sandwich meal and 2 big kids meals for the boys plain double cheeseburger i forgot something for me i eat my daughters fries i go home and wait til tomorrow which is today but last night we were up late my husband online he turns on the camera and my daughter and i cry and boys push the keypads and fill the message box with nonsense and giggle and laugh we were all up til midnight and not its today tomorrow he flies home on british airways only for 2 weeks but thats ok he is going to be shock and amazed at our kids he might need ear plugs the kids like to sing i am sure it will be pleasant noise to his ears dare i go hide in the room and cover my head and sleep and take a nap while they play

http://coffeenogrumpy.bravehost.com/myPictures/C+U+Soon.jpg

the trash!

there something ver aggressive about mowing the lawn.. crikey...freakin' glad i am done. the lawn isn't that big..
i got this mower that's electric. so i have a freakin' cord. but i am actually not complaining. because all the corners and edges and stuff i have to stop alot. so with an electric you just have to pull the lever on. it's quite nice. it's a work out
i'm still made the time changed. it's 830 pm right now. confuses the kids, confuses me. hmmph.
it might be a god thing now that i think of it.. i got some solar accent lights to put by the driveway.. i see the connection.
is anybody still watching american idol? i'm giving it a try. it's a bit flat this year. of course i could never do it.. i bet i could have 15 years ago.. as long as i wasn't singing.. the non singing american idol. is there a such thing? hmmph again.
gotto go bye

something is really wrong with me.. i don't want to do a thing!
of all the t hings i have to do. i have to do. i have to do. i have to do. i need to go throught the closet and clean it out. i have to fold up the laundry and do the dishes. why do i have to complain about cleaning. i should be complaining about more than cleaning.
i should complain about my back. ouch my back hurts.. it really does.
and i bought some boots. with high heels. good lord i can't walk in heels. i should have returned them the day i got them i knew they were too high!!
anything more than a sneaker is too high.. i am 35 years old and can't walk in heels. i can walk in them,,but i sure do hate it
my wrist hurts.
i bought my daughter a hit away. it's a softball hitting thingy.
why can't i sing??
i wish i could sing
my feet hurt.
why are allll briefcases black>> what if i don't want black. i think black is too dark..((hee hee that was funny))

my dog eats the bread
and the kids candy
i wish he would eat the dirty dishes
i could switch to paper plates.
i have had a mp3 player since december and i still can't download music to it.. bugs me
i found a cool new store today
it's raining.
i thought i lost my sunglasses and then i found them
i have 4 books to read.
i love tivo
i hate cleaning.
now that i have a laptop i spend less time on my computer.. why??
i have been busy i have been busy
i like being busy.. i hate being bored, but i wish i was bored right now. not now NOW
later now. as in tomorrow. but i won't be. i'll wish tomorrow that i wasn't doing this right now because i should be doing the above listed things and or chores and or errands. i have needed stamps for the past weeeek!! and i drive by evry single store that sells stamps and not gotten the stamps! this is how one's brain works. that being my brain.and there is only one of them. but i need 2 to keep up with all the thought(s). is that my period?

pope john paul

he's poopin' plastic eggs filled with candy all over the house!!

ten days!!!!!!!
i feel like i have lost my journal groove... i'll try to get it back

do i say the same thing over and over again
do i say the same thing over and over again
do i say the same thing over and over again
do i say the same thing over and over again
do i say the same thing over and over again

so the other day, my son had a loose tooth. he insisted that i finish it off and pull it out. so i did. i used a paper towel to get a better grip and pulled that sucker out. i set it on the counter and FORGOT ABOUT IT!! and so did my son. until the next morning when i was brushing his teeth. i ran to the kitchen thinking of what i might have done. i suppose i was cleaning up the kitchen and threw it away!!! oh my dear!! so then at that moment i had to think quick! i told my son we would email the toothfairy. so i walked over to the computer with my son and started to write.
DEAR TOOTHFAIRY,
> > WE ARE LOOKING FOR SEAN'S TOOTH.
> > IF WE DO NOT FIND IT, WILL YOU STILL COME AND VISIT US TONIGHT??
> > SEAN WOULD LIKE $2.00 .
> > THANK YOU.
> > SEAN'S MOTHER
> > JESSICA
 and then i sent the kids off to school..
 and then i forgot about it again.
 til 2 days later. i go to check my mail

and..what i thought i was only going to get an error message for a "mailer demon"...
not i got a REPLY!!!!



Hi,
> > I'll be more than happy to come visit Sean and give him his $2.00 that
> he deserves for his lost tooth. Things are busy this time of year
> though and I'm busy making pit stops along the way, so it may take me
> longer than tonight to make it there.
> > Toothfairy

i rememeber when i wore a size 30X32. they were levi's 501's. i wore the heck out of them to the point the has wore out of them. and the knees are faded to paper thin. and the button  holes were frayed and the buttons slipped out of the holes.. hahaha.. and i had this shirt it was obnoxious yet... hmmm wonderful. large floral print. well that one went out of style. so i cut the arms off of it and sewed them into the legs and ass of my jeans.. so that the floral print would show through the tattered jean material. it was quite lovely.
how many years ago was this?? almost 15.... why am i thinking of this now?? i don't know. but they were lovely. i lent them to a kid i worked with. he was having a hippy dance. i never got them back. jeeesh. i wish i had my jeans.
not that i could wear them.. and they would only take up space in the space of my things that take up space... right there with the parrot earrings my sister got me in 1988 when she had gone to florida. the sandcastle  sculpture is gone ...it broke years ago. right there with the african beaded necklace i got from my grandmother when she had cruised around the world in 19 "something or other"
so there i was thinking of my jeans..